|  Author | Topic: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids (Read 1,661 times) |
taupha
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|  | Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Thread Started on Aug 30, 2004, 8:29pm » | |
I was just thinking that maybe we parents that have raised ADD/ADHD kids might have some insights into how to survive the years for those who have just had kids diagnosed..... Anyone have kids like that besides me??? It's got to be the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.....meds or no meds......diet.....psychologists, etc
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| | Re: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Reply #1 on Aug 31, 2004, 3:29pm » | |
i have a 7 year old grandson with autism he has a mild form and is mainlined to regular class , hes a bright little boy but still has the problems associated with autism , he is not being treated chemically right now but they are using behavior modification and it appears to be working
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justmia
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| | Re: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Reply #2 on Sept 2, 2004, 6:25am » | |
Hope you don't mind me posting Taupha, I totally agree with you about raising a kid that is diagnosed with ADHD. I seen my sister go from a 9 stone healthy woman to a 7 stone wreck, through the stress and uncertainty that this brings. Like you say regardless if the have meds like ritalin prescribed (which made her boy worse), or have to be given seroxat (total nightmare), there is no easly solution.
Understanding and non-judgemental friends and family can make a big difference, perhaps to care for the child an odd night for rest bite, as is an understanding husband cause in a lot of situations (not all) it is the woman who is truly 'on her own' to deal with it.
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taupha
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| | Re: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Reply #3 on Sept 4, 2004, 7:59pm » | |
My son was on Ritalin for a while.....but his doctor changed his medication as he got older. Right now he takes Adderall and it seems to work pretty well for him. Mind you he IS 18 now so he's hoping to maybe wean himself off of the meds if possible. I wouldn't mind some insight into what to look forward to......other than the obvious "mischief" (and I use that term loosely!) stage. Even his g/f tells him to take his pills when he starts acting like that!
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justmia
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| | Re: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Reply #4 on Sept 9, 2004, 6:39am » | |
Taupha my sister's boy is nearly 16 years old and is now med free. As a result of her boy's med nightmare, she is now a big fan of alternative treatments (at one point she had her laddie sleeping on magnetic mattress.
As to the future, well he appears to be okay, still kinda mischievous, like you say, but aren't all young men (and woman)! He is very bright (like most of these children, although perhaps not academic) and considering his interrupted education is doing well in work right now. Mia
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ricki
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| | Re: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Reply #5 on Feb 3, 2005, 6:01am » | |
i dont hav children myself, but i hav a friend that has an ADHD daughter, shes 8 & a total nitemare ... shes stayed wiv me a few times & has dun things like set fire 2 my duvet, tried 2 put hair remover on my cat, hung the cat in the closet on a coat hanger, she bites my dog & will paint my walls wiv anyfin she finds lyin around ... i love the kid dearly, but i cant handle her @ times ... ive got her 4 a wk in march while her parents take a break, any advice?
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| | Re: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Reply #6 on Feb 3, 2005, 6:43am » | |
ricki lots of patience for 1. number 2 . let the little things go, these kids spend their little lives being " wrong " and their self esteems are usually pretty low because they realize they are " different" My grandson thinks hes bad, so i spend most of my time trying to boost his esteem.if she bounces in her chair during supper . let it go, but you still need to set firm limits cuz these kids act before thinking.Most are totally impulsive. So you usually need to watch them pretty closely . My grandson is 9 and has OCD along with the ADHD , I never know what he might do next, and unfortunately neither does he. Most of the time hes like having a huge toddler in the house. If shes on meds make sure she has them and make sure she takes them. My grandson mouths his pill then will spit it out when your not looking . 3 remember these kids have no attention span so things like board games dont work m the get frustrated and cant sit still. 4 make sure you dont let them get over stimulated @ bedtime. believe me these kids dont sleep much and if ocer excited my grandson stays awake all night ( meaning I will be also ) keep your pets away . or in another area for their protection and the child , a dog thats being mauled , no matter how good will bite and so will a cat. 5 keep sugars and caffeine to a minimum ( sodas cocoa , candy ) anything thats a stimulant will be tripple for these kids , 6 have fun. go for a walk with her . to a park. or just somewhere that she can be .. " hyper " and be safe . My grandson is my " special " child and he is just that . hes a bright loving little boy , they are a challenge in the best of times, but a joy too . Good luck and have a good time with her.
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taupha
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| | Re: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Reply #7 on Feb 3, 2005, 4:33pm » | |
Good job tobi.....you hit the nail right on the head with your answer. My son is 18 and still taking meds to control his impulsiveness, but he has improved immensely as far as his behaviour is concerned (to everyone except his brothers of course....lol). I would definitely try to find someone to watch your pets for you while the little darling is there though...for their safety. DO NOT let her get away with the bad behaviour though....these kids do better with strict rules of what they're allowed to do and what is a punishable offense. Keeping busy with different activities in short bursts is usually the best defense against a bored ADHD child....bored=destruction with these kids.....but at the same time you don't want to over stimulate them either, it's a delicate balance. That's why YOU have this child while her parents "take a break" ......it's exhausting work!
Good luck to you......let me know how it turned out! 
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| | Re: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Reply #8 on Jul 15, 2005, 3:12pm » | |
Well my son is 4 going on 5 and was just diagnosed with ADHD.. they say he has the multi-kind that is a combo of all three types of ADHD.. We are starting him on a amphetamin (sp?) tomm morning. Im worried about all the side effect. How did you guys deal with all the mood swings. Im worried I will not be strong enough to cope with it. Being a single mother there is noone else to lean on .. My mother does take him for a night or two during the month but she is also diabetic with syrosis n on mutiple kinds of medications so I try not to over do it. But there are days I just think I cant do it anymore and I wait for him to take a nap or go to bed at night and just cry my eyes out. Then I get upset with myself for not being able to handle it all. Has anyone else gone through this? I dont think that it matter what age of parent you are just that all parents go through all the same feeling n emotions. I just feel that Im ganna break and that would not be good for him. Please let me know if this is normal or not. Not really to many people to talk to bout it with. His father and my mother (his grandmother) dont approve of me putting him on the medication but they dont do the day to day things for him either. I just feel so lost sometimes.
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~» tobi «~
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| | Re: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Reply #9 on Jul 15, 2005, 3:40pm » | |
oh my hummer i want to take you and hug you right now .
In the best of circumstance child rearing is rough but compound it with a problem . and handling it alone and it can overwhelm you. What you feel is normal. Its stress and frustration and plain exhaustion. My grandson is 13 and has been diagnosed as severe ADHD with OCD and takes Adderall, Dexedrine, and Cylert for his symptoms . He is the oldest of 3 children , 2 younger sisters . From the time he was 4 I have been taking him every other weekend , every school holiday and most of the summer months . I do it for his younger sisters who also need a break from an hyper , sometimes abusive big brother . But also for him . I can afford him undivided attention and he listens and respects me ( so far ) but the older he gets the more difficult his behavior .. BUT .. he is an extreme case .
You need more help with him . You need to have time away , even if its 1 evening a week. You cant possibly care for his problems if yours overwhelm you , and they will without help . Is he in any programs through the school ?? there are programs available . Check with his doctor or call your local help line .. I wish i were closer to you . I'd take him for you a few hours a week.
The meds have a possibility of side effcts , but my grandson so far has only experienced some weight gain . they have adjusted his meds to help with that now. DONT let anyone else make you feel guilty for what you need to do for your son. THEY dont deal with the day to day mayhem that comes with an ADHD child .
My grandson is like having a vety active 2 year old all the time . He cant be trusted or left alone for the safety of him and those around him.
My grandson is a total joy to me and i love him dearly , and i die inside for this beautiful child knowing that he cant have a normal life .. maybe one day .
You hang in there hummers but DONT be afraid to ask for help . This does not reflect on you as a mom , as a matter of fact it makes you an awesome mom . you have a problem and are dealing with it ,not ignoring or denying it . good luck and please keep me posted on your progress .
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allnghthummmer
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| | Re: Parents of ADD/ADHD kids
« Reply #10 on Jul 18, 2005, 12:21pm » | |
Well I made it through the first weekend. Although it was really hard expalining to my 4-year old why he had to take a pill twice a day to make him be better. I just explained in the best way I could come up with that this would help him be on green more at school. And would let him settle down some when the times he couldnt by himself. Still didnt like giving it to him. Actually gave it to him, turned on cartoon and went in the bathroom and cried like a little kid. I know there is always the chance he will grow out of it. Just the prospect that I made the decision to keep him on meds what could be the rest of his life. I dont mind making mistakes when it comes to myself. But would not want my child to suffer for anything. ...
Thank you so much tobi for your words of encourgement its means alot knowing that other people do believe I'm making the right decision and have been through similar experiences. And as to programs he is in a preschool at my local church. They dont have any afterschool programs. As it is I have to rush to get him on time. If your not there by 10 after 6 they call CDS on you. And I normallyl get there between 5:45-5:55 depending on traffic. My mom is a wonderful help but again I try not to overload her. And with her disagreeing on the meds I told her if she does not give it to him while he is there. Then he wont come back till she will give it to him.
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And your right it makes it worse when I'm overwhelmed on top of it. Right now my job ends in two weeks and I'm waiting on the college to either accept or deny me for fincial aid this coming term. If they deny me I've been applying for jobs but no response yet so then the $ will stop on top of everthing. I think thats why this it so hard. Is so much other worries going on. Thank you guys for listing or reading lol my ramblings.
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